MEMORIZE these RESOLUTIONS
for visitors to San Francisco
1) I will not spend all my time in tourist zones. Hardly any, really. Maybe six minutes.
2) After I find out that I really do need scarf and sweaters (yes, plural) when the summer fog blows through San Francisco, I will not blame my hosts, who tried to warn me. I will instead, without a wimper, go to “by-the-pound” or some other esteemed clothing store* and remedy the lack.
*not $6 sweatshop-produced tourist T-shirt shops
3) I will not expect to find hippies on Haight Street. (What is a hippie, anyway?)
4) I will not rely on the “west-compressed” free tourist map. As a public service, I’ll denounce dopey maps when I'm offered one. (What’s the point of a map purposely published not to scale?)
5) I will consider biking instead of walking on the Golden Gate Bridge. I will wear layers on and in my ears to minimize wind exposure and hearing loss.
6) When I feel tempted to take a ferry ride, I'll go to Angel Island. If I must go to Alcatraz, I'll buy the tickets from the ferry service not a rip-off tour service.
7) I will patronize local establishments. Chains I recognize from home won’t add anything to my experience of this strange and wonderful city.
8) I won’t drive a car unless absolutely necessary. Instead, I’ll use the excellent public transit. I won't be afraid of buses. I'll use 511 to get bus arrival info. If I do drive, I’ll yield to all pedestrians and bicycles.
9) I will talk to strangers. And celebrate weirdness.
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